Humble Beginnings, The Loot: Part 3 of 4

Yo! So here’s the third set of games from my library of old-ass games I made as a kid. It’s been awhile in posting- I’ve been busy beginning work at Freeverse and finding an apartment in NYC. That’s a whole different rant, but the end result is I found a sweet place in the Upper East Side and I move in June 1. Woot! Anyway, on to the games.

By the way, You can find the first set here.
And here’s the second.

2.96
North American Release Date: August 21, 1989

2.96 was my “sci-fi” game. I remember the exact reason too- for an 8 year old, decimal points were pretty fuckin’ sci-fi. So that was my esoteric title, with an esoteric title screen to match. Look at that hot splitscreen action. Predating modern co-op by at least 15 years? I THINK I WAS.

Anyway, those globular looking things that you’re undoubtedly gawking at are the result of my discovering the “3d” tools in modern artist. One of them is a 3d box, which basically draws the edges of a cube, and this one is the sphere. They make awesome planets, if you couldn’t tell. The game also featured intense space battles, as you can see by the badly drawn Tie Fighter and spray paint explosions in the bottom left panel.

George Lucas would be proud.

Captian Fungus
North American Release Date: November 17, 1989

Captian Fungus [sic] was another attempt of mine to create another distinctive mascot type character. Mission accomplished, as you can see. That would be fungus growing on the title, and the “captian” himself is also shooting fungus. In the form of the word fungus. In case it still wasn’t obvious enough.

And if you still have reservations about playing, I turn your attention to the TWENTY ONE exclamation marks after “Push Start.” And if even that fails, SUPER SEAL, MOTHER FUCKER.

The Black Ninja
North American Release Date: January 1, 1990

While we’re on the topic of new characters, one I was really excited about at the time was The Black Ninja. I had a whole backstory lined up that I told as a horror story to people on Halloween 1989, set to Tubular Bells. I don’t remember a damn bit of it now, of course. It probably involved the Black Ninja being all dark and mysterious and chopping dudes with his ninja sword. I don’t remember anyone being scared or otherwise impressed in any way.

Thiefs From Space
North American Release Date: August 13, 1989

Another selection from Rolling Stone Magazine’s “Top 10 Videogame Titles Of All Time” compilation* is my critically acclaimed “Thiefs From Space.” It’s spelled “Thiefs” instead of “Thieves” because that’s how they spell it IN SPACE. Someday you’ll see.

* By “compilation” I really mean nothing.

Zelda 4
North American Release Date: July 11, 1989

Yeah. So bask in that one for a few moments before you read on. I’ll wait.

Ok. Ready? So one of my “business” strategies as a tyke was to make sequels of games that I really liked. I made this a few months after the American release of Zelda II. I really wanted to make a Zelda game, but I figured since Nintendo must have been already at work making a Zelda 3, I might as well go straight for Zelda 4. The result is the monstrosity before you.

Let’s extrapolate forward a bit and assume that Zelda 3 would be Link To The Past, making Zelda 4 Ocarina of Time. Compare and contrast:

with:

Aren’t you sorry Nintendo decided to continue on with their prized franchise instead of passing the reins to Justin Fic? Think of what you could have missed.